I recently came across an article about a boyfriend and girlfriend that seems to be generating some controversy. It seems the woman saw a spider and freaked. The man came and removed the spider, capturing it and taking it outside. The woman was so relieved she told the man he was only 100 spiders away from her agreeing to marry him. It seems he just has to remove 100 more spiders to win her hand in marriage.
Of course people are weighing in, complaining about how sexist this arrangement is. They’re castigating the woman for forcing the man into outdated gender stereotypes, and for making their relationship a master-servant dynamic.
Okay, I’m kidding, obviously. If this were really the story I doubt we’d ever hear about it. But the truth is that the man, who does most of the cooking in their household, would ask her to make him a sandwich. For him making a sandwich represents an act of love. She finally made him a sandwich, and he liked it so much he told her she was just 300 sandwiches away from a engagement ring. She took the joke and ran with it, creating a blog to document her process of making 300 sandwiches.
The cries of sexism and male-chauvanism have been deafening.
And I think these critics are stupid. Who are we to judge their relationship, to apply our own definitions of what a relationship should be to two strangers we know nothing about? Who are we to demand that they live up to our expectations? Isn’t that something as bad as or even worse than sexism? Wasn’t feminism about providing women with the full range of choices, not exchanging one dictated lifestyle for another?
Besides, the entire concept is an ingenious form of marketing. In this era of continual self-promotion I fail to see how Miley Cyrus twerking for a living is empowering, yet making a sandwich is demeaning. Yeah, yeah, I get the whole “Get into the kitchen and make me a sandwich, woman!” vibe. Get over it. The fact that the notion has become a punchline proves that we’re beyond that now. The blog concept works because it’s a joke.
The guy does most of the cooking. He views the preparing and offering of food as an act of love. In that light, would this not be an unequal relationship that would take far more than 300 sandwiches to balance? If anyone is getting the short end of the stick here, would it not be the guy? Yes, of course I’m being ridiculous. That’s the point. The people criticising this woman are being ridiculous. It’s their relationship, and they should be free to make it work any way they want. Believe it or not, people, they are not doing this for our benefit. They really couldn’t–and shouldn’t–care what any of us think of their relationship. They don’t need our approval.
Feminists have been insisting that everyone stay out of their bedrooms. So why are they so determined to push their way into our kitchens?