In spite of my best efforts this has been a lousy week in many ways. I didn’t sleep very well for much of the week, and it seems like my Facebook feed has been personalized for my irritation. “You find these kinds of posts annoying? Here’s some more you won’t like!” But to be honest, I suspect that there is a much simpler explanation for my frustrations.
Last week I got to spend three days in a fun world, full of giving and receiving of knowledge and friendship. I got to be…well, not someone else, because that really is part of who I am. But I got to indulge that part of myself that I really like being. For three days I really liked being me, really liked the life I was living. I could believe that I’m not that different from all those other published authors I got to hob-nob with.
But it didn’t last.
Eventually I had to go back to the real world. Don’t get me wrong, there are lots of good things in the real world. But the not-so-good things were waiting for me, too. Oh, the rush of last week still lingered. Facebook conversations with some of the people I met kept some it going for awhile. But eventually we all wandered back to our lives, and all that was left was my usual life, my usual Facebook feed. There are unpleasant things on both, waiting to smack me around and torment me for ever thinking life could be different. “Oh, you think you can just go be a writer and life will be cool? Well guess what, buddy! We’re going to wiz in your Wheaties–because we can!”
The world didn’t change. I did. Or tried to. I kinda forgot that I still need to keep up certain defenses. I got banged up a few times, and lashed out a little before I remembered the world was just doing what it always does, and I shouldn’t have left the window open.
My apologies to those who were caught off guard by “evil Thom”. The transporter has been fixed now, and my two halves have been re-integrated. Kirk is back at the Conn, and the landing party is being rescued.