Fun with comment spam

I have another blog that has recently showed an incredible spike in popularity. I’ve been getting dozens of comments in the last week on posts that are as much as a year old. What’s more, these comments, judging by the URLs they list, come from some very impressive sites, such as Google, Bing, and Yahoo! Why, I must have hit the big time!

No, I’m just a victim of comment spam. But as I’m a big believer in recycling and multi-purposing, I thought I’d at least get a blog post out of some of the more interesting ones. So here we go! I’m namin’ and shamin’!

From Arry (Yahoo.com): TYVM you’ve solved all my prlobems.

Thank you, but I’m not sure how I did that by merely posting a few pictures of Walden pond. Also, I think you still have at least ONE problem, as either your spelling or proof-reading needs work.

Jalene (Bing.com): Walking in the presence of giatns here. Cool thinking all around!

I’m not sure if she/he/it is attempting to flatter me or if this is a desperate call for help. Again, we have a misspelling–or else a “giatn” is a cross between a giant and a cretin. Thanks for the comment, Jalene. Don’t get stepped on by those stupid giants you feel the need to walk among!

Hallie (Google.com): Thanks for sharing. Always good to find a real exrpet.

Okay, I give. What’s an Exrpet? Is that like a Gigapet? Are there a lot of of forgeries going around or something? (You may have noticed the common thread here; a comment from someone citing a search engine, and with a terrible misspelling/typo on one word, and one word only. I suspect some sort of tracing mechanism that allows them to find their comments at a later date or something. Too bad for them these all go down the memory hole.)

Jasemin (Bing.com): AKAIK you’ve got the awnser in one!

Hey, who you callin’ an akaik?! Takes one to know one, buddy! And I suppose an “awnser” is a long, drawn-out, boring answer that makes you yawn? Or are we just affecting a snooty British accent? (And yes, I know what AKAIK means.)

Taron (Bing.com): I’m not easily impressed…but that’s ipmressing me!

And I’m not easily flattered or duped! Take your spam elsewhere! Oh, and I’m sorry my post seems to have exacerbated your condition.

Carley (Bing.com): I’m impressed! You’ve managed the alosmt impossible.

Carley, on the other hand, IS easily impressed. I’m not sure what she thought was so almost impossible about my post. Does she feel it is almost impossible to string two coherent thoughts together? To spell every word in the post correctly? That must be it, considering her own difficulties in spelling.

Candid (Bing.com–a lot of people seem to work there!): IJWTS wow! Why can’t I think of thgnis like that?

I’ll bet you could, Candid, if you’d spend less time publishing comment spam and got a real hobby. (Actually, I suspect this is a job, the poor soul.)

Marlee (Google.com): That’s way more clever than I was epexcting. Thanks!

Uh…thanks, I think. I wouldn’t call a post linking to someone’s post on water storage “clever.” Or were you just expecting me to be a complete and total moron, and were pleasantly surprised?

 

Bubby (Yahoo.com): Tahkns for the insight. It brings light into the dark!

Tahkns for the insight, and spell-check for the win! But what can I say? I’m the electric company.

Lele (Bing.com): AFAICT you’ve cvoeerd all the bases with this answer!

I’m not up on my Dutch, so I’m not sure if should go into hiding now. I have cvoeerd all your bases! Now all your base are belong to us!

And I think in this case, AFAICT should be pronounced as spelled: “Ah faked”, as in “I faked this identity.”

Bobby (Yahoo.com): You’re on top of the game. Thanks for shanrig.

You’re quite welcome! Just make sure Shanrig gets food and water several times a day, and gets outside for some exercise. She also likes to be scratched behind the ears, and is rather fond of Gaelic poetry.

It’s really sad that there are so many people out there spending so much time trying to build links by bombarding people’s blogs with spam. And unless WordPress treats comments as crawl-able content while it’s waiting to be approved, it’s all for naught anyway. I get so few legitimate comments on that blog that I never auto-approve anything.

It’s funny how these people think a little vague statement and some flattery will get their comments accepted. It’s plainly clear they haven’t read the post.  They add nothing to the discussion. I have nothing against people using my comments for links, but they need to at least show that they’ve read the post and are trying to add something. I don’t mind them getting some value from commenting, so long as they’re really adding value to my blog.

For now, though, I’ve turned off comments on that blog until the wave passes.

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