Dear comment spammers

It seems you are too busy leaving as many comments as you can to actually check back and see if your comments are getting posted. I can assure you they are not. I do not use any anti-spam service where you can outfox the algorithms. I review them personally, and let me tell you, I can see right through your pathetic attempts. How? Let me give you some hints.

  • I find it hard to believe that you found my post on the weather to be the most useful post you’ve ever seen. In fact, nearly anyone who gets excited and complimentary about my writing without actually ever mentioning any specifics or acknowledging the actual topic is pretty much guaranteed to be a comment spammer. Bit bucket!
  • The opposite is also true. Any post outright insulting my work without actually giving any details is also spam. I give you points for the reverse psychology, but….no. Goodbye!
  • Long strings of random characters? Gee, that’s a tough one! Either this is comment spam or I’m quite popular among the cat-on-keyboard crowd.
  • Asian characters? Yeah, right. Most Asians are smart enough to know that if a person is posting in English from America they’re probably not going to understand you even if you comment in the Americanized spellings of their language, let alone characters. And most of them probably know English better than half the bloggers in America. Bit bucket!
  • Excerpts from books. Need I say more?
  • Posting the same comment fifteen different times in fifteen different posts within fifteen minutes of each other. Goodbye! With extreme prejudice.

In fact, let me give you an even more pointed hint. If you want to get your comments on my blog, all you need to do is this: Read my blog post and respond to what I have said with enough details to suggest you’ve actually read it. And keep the language clean. Other than that… I’m pretty easy-going. You probably can insult my writing, just so long as you read my writing first.

But you’re not going to do that. And so we will continue to waste one another’s time. Don’t say I haven’t tried to help.



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2 Responses to Dear comment spammers

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