How to play basketball

Last night our cub scouts den meeting ended a little early. Since we were already in the garage making birdhouses, I figured we could play some basketball until the parents arrived to pick up the boys. I did surprisingly well. I thought I’d share some of my secrets to becoming the neighborhood basketball star:

  1. If you must practice, do so on a little “cubicle toys” hoop that hangs over a door inside your house. That way a real hoop will seem huge–practically too huge to miss!
  2. Use an adjustable backboard. Set the basket height to around 7 foot.
  3. Play against nine year old boys. Press your height advantage for all it’s worth.
  4. Play in the near-dark. This may not work for everyone, but even with the outdoor lights on it was pretty hard to see the rim. Oddly enough, I seem to have an easier time making baskets when I can’t see.
  5. Play against nine year old boys who don’t like to pass the ball.

And there you have it. Just follow these simple tips and you too can astound and amaze!

Speaking of astounding and amazing, you should have seen the look on the face of one of my scouts when, after demonstrating how to drill a pilot hole, I handed him the drill and told him to do the next ones. He clearly thought I wasn’t going to trust them with a power drill, because his whole face lit up. I had to help him a little–it’s a heavy drill–but he did just fine. Boys that age can be fairly wild, but so far all the boys we’ve taught seem to have a healthy respect for power tools. And clearly, they’re not expecting adults to recognize that.

There are times when I definitely enjoy being a den leader.

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2 Responses to How to play basketball

  1. I prefer my competition to be younger, still.

  2. Bill especially excels against infants and embryos.

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