Humor me!

Okay, everyone! Joke time! Leave your best clean joke in the comments! I’ll start:

It’s a busy afternoon in the local saloon, when suddenly a man bursts through the swinging double doors. He hurries up to the bar. “Bartender, give me a double-shot of whiskey, and make it fast! Black Bart is coming to town, and I don’t intend to be here when he gets here!” The bartender pours the drink for the man, who bolts it down and dashes back out the door.

A few moments later another man bursts into the saloon and hurries to the bar. “Bartender, pour me a double! Black Bart’s coming to town, and I don’t want to be here when he gets here!” The bartender pours him his drink, he swallows it down, and runs out the door.

A few minutes after that the patrons hear heavy bootsteps outside on the boardwalk. A huge mountain of a man with long, scraggly hair and a massive scar down one side of his face slowly walks up to the swinging doors and flings them open so hard they fall off the hinges. He stalks slowly up the bar, spurs jingling with every heavy step. “Bartender,” he growls, “give me whiskey. A bottle of whiskey.”

“Y-y-yes sir!” the bartender stammers, shaking in his boots.

The big man bites the top off the bottle, spits it on the floor, then proceeds to guzzle down the entire bottle of whiskey. He slams the empty bottle down on the bar.

“C-can I g-get you an-nother, sir?” the bartender dares to ask.

“Ain’t got time,” the big man growls. “Haven’t y’heard? Black Bart’s coming to town, and I don’t want to be here when he gets here!”

Okay, your turn!