Robert Frost, in “Mending Wall”, claims that “good fences make good neighbors”. If only that’s all it took. I’ve built a few fences in my day, and they’re all still standing. I could be a really good neighbor. Unfortunately, I think it actually takes talking to your neighbor on a semi-regular basis, and I’m not so good at that. We’ve never been particularly good neighbors, I’m afraid. We’re not outgoing people, and in today’s society it’s easier to just live in your own little bubble; open the garage from down the street, drive in, close the door behind you and ignore that the world exists outside your house.
We’ve been trying to do better since we moved into our latest neighborhood. It’s a little easier to be friendly with the people you also see at church on a regular basis, but out of ten houses on our cul de sac only us and one other go to the same church–something of an anomaly in “Mormonville, USA”. But I’m pleased to say we’ve done better than normal. It helps that many on the street have reached out to us as well.
But when our next door neighbors sold and a new family moved in we decided it was time to step up our game. They’re a younger couple with two young, adorable daughters (one that unfortunately shares a name with our dog). It turns out they’re quite friendly, and have responded well to our efforts (hopefully we have to theirs, also). Our conversations are infrequent, but once we get talking it’s quite easy to talk to for quite some time. They’re daughters get along well with our daughter, which has earned her a babysitting opportunity.
This weekend we took the next step and invited them over for dinner. We had a really good time, and we have reason to believe they enjoyed it, too. They’re good people, and it was fun getting to know them better. We’ll be doing this again.
As I said, we’re not really sociable people. Entertaining is not something that works its way onto our “to do” list very often, yet whenever we do finally get around to it we usually enjoy it. It’s just a matter of rousing ourselves to invite people over in the first place.
We really should be more friendly with our neighbors. But I definitely need more practice on how to go about it.
Good fences … topped with gun turrets and barbed wire.
Sofie (our dog, not the neighbors’ daughter) does her best to create a minefield.
We know the feeling. We are more outgoing and still struggle. It’s just hard – you have to work at it. Bravo for making the effort.
Granted, it was probably easier since they were the newcomers. It’s a little harder to go out and meet the neighbors we’ve been living near for three years and have hardly spoken to–and didn’t really speak to us when we arrived.
Yes, it is a challenge. We have the same situation (doesn’t everyone?). We started getting over it by hosting a cul de sac potluck. We got to know one more that came. Now the ice is broken. They apologized for not coming over to meet us, but life is busy and then we both felt guilty for not doing it….. rest is history.
We ARE all busy … and safe in our little nests. I recommend the short story, “The Huddling Place” as a reference.
One of my very favorite poems, so I can’t resist pointing out that Robert Frost is saying the opposite. He’s quoting his neighbor who won’t come out from behind his comfortable assumption that good fences make good neighbors. Being picky I know, but when you love a poem . . .
It was a deliberate miss-application, I admit. The first half of the poem discusses how “something there is that does not love a wall.”
We are very fortunate that our neighbours are fairly outgoing and they reached out to us when we moved in. We know most of the people on our little street. It makes me feel better knowing that if my kids are home alone and there is a problem, they can go to anyone on our street and be safe. It’s a little more difficult to reach out in a neighbourhood than it is at say, church, because, just because you live in the same area doesn’t necessarily mean you have anything in common. You really have to put yourself out there and there is that chance of rejection. I’m glad you made the effort and it payed off.
And they liked my vegan cooking!! 🙂