Maintaining proper distance

There have been a few people who at one time I admired, usually based on their professional work. That led me to insert myself into their orbit to some degree, be it following their blog or trying to connect with them at conventions. At that level of contact I became disappointed and disillusioned with those people, and they fell from my list of people to pay attention to.

Well, I just spent time with those people again. I think I overreacted. People will disappoint you on occasion, but that’s no reason to dump them completely. In one case that person gave a tremendous presentation that changed my perspective of how things work and inspired me to keep pressing forward to reach my goals. In another case, though I still feel this person is perhaps a bit hypocritical, he still had valuable insights on things when he removes his personal emotions from the equation and speaks pedagogically. And his contradictory beliefs in one area don’t necessarily invalidate his ideas in other areas.

No, I don’t plan to reinsert myself into these people’s orbits, but I also don’t plan to think so negatively of these people, either. They’re still valuable sources of ideas. They still have interesting and valuable things to say. I just need to not bestow virtue on them that they do not possess, nor probably ever claimed.

Admiration can be a dangerous thing. We should be careful not to build up someone higher than they can live up to–or know to live up to. In the end we’re all people, with all the good and bad that entails. And in the end, who’s the bigger jerk; the person who fails to live up to someone else’s expectations in a jerk-like way, or the person who imposed those expectations in the first place and reacted like a jerk when they weren’t lived up to?

Let’s call it a draw. Friends?