Persistence and denial

I have come to the conclusion that persistence looks a lot like denial. Reading is both the friend and enemy of my writing. I finish a book by Brandon Mull or Brandon Sanderson and see how they tie everything together in exciting and surprising ways and I’m tempted to hang it all up. I’ll never write as well as they do. How do they even do that?

But because I’m an optimist, determined, and/or in denial I keep pushing forward, telling myself that they probably weren’t that good initially either, and that it took time to develop that ability. I just need to keep at it and use them as a source of inspiration rather than discouragement. That they can do what they do is proof that it’s possible, right? If they can do it, I can learn to do it.

I like to think so. My life has been essentially a series of situations in which I learned stuff that at first seemed daunting and eventually became at least the local expert. You could say I’ve made a career of it. But writing is different in that regard. I live in Utah, and my locale includes true experts like Sanderson and Mull. I’ve met them both and discussed writing with them. I interact regularly with published writers. This is one area in which I’m not going to become the local expert.

Not that I need to, mind you. Living in this area also shows that there’s room enough for a lot of us. While perhaps the pie is not infinite, there is a lot of pie to go around.

And the thing is, every one of those writers will tell you that persistence–and perhaps a touch of denial–are key. They didn’t get to where they are overnight. Making it as a writer takes effort. A few people find a way around it, but most don’t. If you want to be a writer you had better be prepared to work hard for a long time.

I suppose there will come a point when I may have to re-evaluate and determine if I’m just in denial or if I really am making progress. But not yet. I’m still willing to believe that there’s progress to be made, and that I’m still capable of making it. Denial is still a river in Egypt.